I find there are two modes of experiencing someone: judging or accepting. When I’m judging, my mind goes to work comparing and contrasting, which is what the mind is for. The mind is a problem solver; it looks at similarities and differences, observes patterns, identifies problems, and finds solutions.
In this judging mode, I see how I’m more extroverted and the acceptance mode is more introverted. I notice how I tend to see similarities and the other mode tends to see differences. I also see how while I tend to lead with my mind, the other tends to lead with their emotions. When I stay too long in this judging mode, these observations grow, and so do the fissures and spaces between me and acceptance! When I reside in acceptance, which for me is sort of like a vacation mode, I don’t seem to notice these things very much.
I know that those differences are still there, but my mind is more relaxed and I’m more patient or amused by everything, waiting for the next moment to emerge and to just be surprised. One mode tends to create irritation within me and leads me to insert myself in situations to try to change someone in order to reduce my own irritation. The other mode tends to lead me to experiences like breathing, observing and feeling adventurous.