Ever notice at times how unhappy you are because of this person or that thing? “If they would only do X, then I wouldn’t feel so (angry, hurt, disappointed, depressed).” We all share this thought pattern.
Here’s the funny thing: ALL emotion is actually created by us! The person or the thing didn’t create it and CAN’T create it. Impossible!
I’ve learned two things that drive my emotion: what I’m focused on, and what I tell myself about it. So, if I want to change how I feel, all I have to do is change what I focus on or what I tell myself about it.
I have a buddy going through a divorce who complains every time we get together. It’s a total pain in the ass. He’s supposed to be on the same page as me, so we can enjoy time together, like we used to. Or….I could change what I tell myself, take some leadership, and try to help the guy out by inviting him to go do something fun!
When my wife is upset about stuff, she talks about it all, a lot! I listen and watch her energy drain out. I do this because I love her, and this actually helps her! Then I say, “Hungry?”
What I focus on and what I tell myself about it. I’ll never LIVE in that helpful, healthy state of mind all the time, but understanding the mechanics gives me choices in every situation! If we don’t understand our power to control BOTH things, we wouldn’t experience our dual nature or power.