Change usually means our discomfort has to become so great that we become “softened up” to receptive to input. Until then, we’re just getting to our “tipping point.”
For the observing friend, this can look like unnecessary torture. But it’s not. It’s just how we learn and grow, all of us!
The point is not for us (or our loved ones) to avoid pain; it’s to learn and grow in response to it.
We’re not saving anyone by stepping in when someone doesn’t want it. We’re just trying to relieve our own discomfort and fear—of failing, not being lovable, losing someone because we can’t “fix it.”
The best we can do with each other is to respect each other enough to understand and accept that we’re all human, doing the best we can, and ready to learn and change when we are. Just tell each other we’re there to just listen, give input or provide any support they want. And unless someone’s life or health is in imminent danger, do nothing till you’re invited!