Going All In
I’ve noticed a pattern and tendency in my life: there is a wedge between holding back and going all in. In some instances, I’m looking at the finish line and letting up. In other cases, I’m frustrated by a challenge, and I let...
The Wounded Warrior
The wounded warrior goes at life alone, striving to overcome adversaries by himself. He is driven by the unconscious need to prove himself and to prove he deserves love. In that way, he is chasing love— a love which is always out of reach...
Driven by Being Liked
Throughout my childhood and adult years (until my early 40s), I was driven mostly by one thing: being liked. I noticed that I would always pick a person or three, and their opinion of me, of what I thought and did, dictated what I thought about...
Fueled by Commitment
How often have you failed to attain something, and then blamed someone or certain circumstances for falling short? We all do it. Recently, I was hoping to be hired by a new client, but he decided not to hire us. Oh well. It’s his decision and...
Unapparent Thoughts
Thoughts and feelings flow through us from sources that are not always apparent. We all have very common core beliefs, many of which are not even conscious. Some of them create momentum in our lives, and some of them don’t. The ones that don’t...
Drivers of Emotion
Ever notice at times how unhappy you are because of this person or that thing? “If they would only do X, then I wouldn’t feel so (angry, hurt, disappointed, depressed).” We all share this thought pattern. Here’s the...
Failure to Launch
I’ve been hearing a lot about these “failure to launch” kids: teens and young adults who are not stepping into the adult phase of life. It hit me that the term implies there’s something wrong with the kid/young adult, like a car with a flat tire...
The Source of Love
An elephant will stand still, believing it is trapped, when a rope tethers it loosely to a stake in the ground. It can easily pull the stake out and walk free, but its belief that it cannot will keep it trapped in its place. Settling is a great...
The Decision to Serve
Who I become in life has been primarily driven by one thing: my decision to serve someone or something. As a father, I fully took on a role to serve. I assumed that the people served by that role would be my kids. As a businessperson, I...
Expectations of Ethics
Ever assume that those around you have the same ethical views you do, only to be disappointed and maybe even hurt when they don’t? Yeah. We all have! Here’s the thing that I keep learning: the ethical paths that we adopt are for us, not those...
Settling in to Numbness
The other day, I had lunch with an old buddy who shared with me how his life had been the past couple years—full of lots of disappointments and challenges. We all go through times like this. I asked him, after listening for a while, purely out...
Help Can Sometimes Hurt
I’m not a fan of team politics because it’s so clearly manipulative and divisive. There’s a clear line in the political battlefield that links compassion with people who don’t have enough, and negativity towards wealth. I suspect most would agree...